


Please Mister Postman

by so_damn_Mishalicious



Series: Witchery AU goodness [11]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon's Parent, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Mentioned Eskel (The Witcher), Mentioned Lambert (The Witcher), Minor Triss Merigold/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Parent Vesemir (The Witcher), Postman Jaskier, Sex Toys, Single Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Writer Geralt, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Ships It, no beta we die like witchers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_damn_Mishalicious/pseuds/so_damn_Mishalicious
Summary: '"I promise, I've been home all day. This stupid twink keeps bringing my packages here, only to have a reason to talk to you and ogle your body while doing so."Geralt huffs, shrugging his shoulders in return."He's just doing his job, Yen. Maybe you two missed by a few minutes. I'm home anyway and I don't mind taking them."There's a dangerous glint in the woman's eyes. She smirks. "Oh you definitely wouldn't mind taking /his/ package as well."---Geralt of Rivia is a single parent, part-time worker and hobby author to a story called 'The Witcher'. Besides being busy to keep chaos out of their life, he also needs to deal with a ruthlessly flirting postman and an intrusive best friend.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Triss Merigold/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Witchery AU goodness [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686538
Comments: 39
Kudos: 340





	Please Mister Postman

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Han Morricone (xXHanXx)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXHanXx/gifts), [ImperialDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialDragon/gifts), [scarlettsoldier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettsoldier/gifts), [rercho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rercho/gifts).



> This is a little surprise to my top 4 commentators that put up with all my nonsense and still leave kinds words that make my day.
> 
> Thank you so much sweethearts ♡ I hope you don't mind being added into this thing and enjoy a little modern AU.

_'The Witcher follows the trail of the basilisk, drops of its blood shimmering on the ground, leading the way. His silver sword left a nasty gash in the creature's side, a hindrance for fleeing too far. Cat-like eyes take in the rocky surface of the tunnel the beast disappeared into, connected to a whole secret system below town._

_Careful not to make unnecessary noise, he slips through the shadows, keeping an eye out for traps or more monsters lurking in here to pounce on unsuspecting prey. The tunnels are vast and contorted, too low for him to stand upright. After following them for nearly an hour, there's an opening to a wider room beyond. The man presses himself to the wall closest to the exit, trying to stay hidden from the cloaked figure standing over there, talking in a low voice to the beast coiling around the stranger's legs like a cat._

_So his suspicion is true - the snake is controlled by a master, attacking people on their order._

_The dim light makes it difficult to make out more details, even with his heightened senses. But figure turns around, facing his direction and a shimmer catches his eye. It makes his breath stutter._

_He would recognize that pendant everywhere._

_"Fuck." The Witcher mutters, hand reaching behind him to grab his sword. This would be very unpleasant.'_

"To be continued." Geralt mumbles while typing the words, finishing another chapter of the story he writes. 

The man leans back in his chair, satisfied with his work and checks the clock. Just about an hour left before Ciri comes home from school. He gets up and makes his way into the kitchen, picking up some things from the living room table to deposit them in the trash. Inspecting the contents of the fridge, he decides to cook a quick pasta dish. Ciri is always ravenous after a day of school and has an unhealthy fixation on anything containing noodles, so he will indulge her for once. They definitely need to keep in mind to go grocery shopping by tomorrow, running out of fresh veggies and milk already.

Being a single parent with a pubescent isn't always easy. His daughter can be a hand-full but Geralt loves her more than his own life. Too bad Pavetta couldn't see the amazing woman their little one is growing into. She would be just as proud. But an accident had taken her away when Ciri was still a toddler and left the white-haired man with a sack full of responsibilities and a crying infant in his arms. 

To say he had been overwhelmed with the situation was an understatement, but with the help of his brothers and father they somehow pulled through the worst of it. Eskel and Lambert adored Cirilla just as much as he did, both of them properly wrapped around her pinkie. Vesemir was stricter in his demeanour but even the older man couldn't resist big sad blue eyes looking at him with tears pricking at their corners. The girl knows how to pull all their strings just right. Geralt couldn't feel bad about that, even if he tried. This girl was the most important thing in his life, deserving only the best.

Luckily his job also agreed to let him work from home, so he just has to turn up for one day at the office per week, reporting in his closed cases. Working for an insurance company may not be the most exciting thing, but they paid well enough and more importantly on time. Safety was an important factor for both of them. Being without a partner often earns him strange looks and whispered words behind his back.

A man taking care of a child, alone at that? This can't be good for the kid's development. A father has to miss something. There's no way he can give her everything a mother could. To piss him off even more, the Youth Welfare Office had turned up at their door, snooping around the whole flat, never finding anything. The whole debate was just ridiculous.

Geralt snorts while setting up the water, after he washing his hands. He needed no wife to be a good parent. He cared for Ciri when she was sick, awake all night to wait for her fever to drop. He showed up for all parent-teacher conferences without fail. He taught her everything she wanted to know, reading up on topics he was unfamiliar with, sitting through piles of homework and essays with Ciri. They even contributed to those damned baking sales at school, though he left it to Eskel to prepare a cake for this. After the man volunteered once they regularly made use of his baking skills and no complaints were ever heard.

The ring of the doorbell distracts his gaze from the sauce he's whipping up, looking at the clock once more. Normally it should be forty more minutes before Ciri's arrival, if a lesson is not cancelled spontaneously. Things like that happen, so he wipes his hand clean on the apron he always tends to wear while cooking, making his way to the door. "I'm coming!"

It's not Ciri standing in front of said door, but a young man in a blue uniform. His brown hair is hidden beneath an equally blue base-cap, cerulean eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Hello Mr. Rivia, so sorry to bother you but I got a package for Ms. Vengerberg next door and she's not home. Would you be willing to accept it for her?"

The man's name is Jaskier, being the mailman for their block and a notorious flirt. More often than not he turns up at their doorstep, because Geralt is one of few people in the neighbourhood that are available during the day. Sighing quietly he nods, making the other grin in delight.

"Perfect as always, you are a real saviour. Don't know what I'd do without you!", long fingers fumble around those ridiculous cargo pants, that don't even cover the man's knees, to get the signing device. Geralt is sure he has seen them longer on the vacation replacement, an insufferable fellow he hopes not to see again. Ever. 

Maybe Jaskier's legs are just too long. Whatever it is, it makes his arse look good even in these trousers.

There's no need to deny that the other is attractive, because he is and the man knows as well, uses it to his advantage to flirt with Geralt at any given chance. Busy typing on his registration pad, the brunette chats nonchalantly, "So how is Roach doing? I do hope she recovered from her cold."

Roach is Ciri's pet hamster, a clever ball of fluff, always trying to escape the confines of their house. Once Jaskier had to take a dive to grab the small animal before it could pass him in the hallway, after breaking free from the cage once more with Ciri staying at a friend. The cheeky little bugger caught a nasty cold about two weeks ago and he had feared for the worst, but she recovers more and more each day. Taking the machine to sign, he grunts.

"Better. Give her a week and she'll plot another heist."

That makes the other laugh and his features light up. The older man is grateful for his self-control or he might have blushed a bit. Handing back the device and taking the package instead, their fingers touch and a jolt of electricity runs through him at the contact. Jaskier seems to feel it too, pupils dilating and the tips of his ears and cheeks flushing with colour. He smiles more sheepishly now and nods once more before he's off with a quick, "Have a great day Mr. Rivia, it has been a pleasure to see you."

Geralt watches him as he gets into the car, then heads back inside. There's still a meal to prepare before Ciri comes home.

+++

"And then Adon just cut off some of her hair! Can you believe that? If he dares to do so with mine, I'll punch his stupid face."

Cirilla munches away on her noodles, never stopping to talk even with her mouth full. Geralt frowns at that. He needs to have a word with Lambert, who displays the same lack of manners at dinner. Shaking his head, he tries to ignore the slip up for now, assigning it to the outrage caused in school.

"You shouldn't punch him, Ciri." scooping up some bites with his own fork, he blows them over, then adds, "it might not be as effective as you hope. Kick him in the balls instead, that's safe and he won't be able to follow you, if you need to run away afterwards."

The girl nods, filing away the knowledge for later. Maybe his educational methods aren't the most conservative but there's no way he won't show his daughter how to stand up and defend herself.

"Got it. Urgh dad, boys really are the worst."

At least he's spared from any relationship talks and quickly changing crushes. The girl is still rather uninterested in this for her fourteen years, preferring to spend time with her friends Marilka and Mistle over talking about the other sex. They already had 'the talk' and it left him more embarrassed than his daughter. No need for a repetition.

Pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Ciri smiles at him over the table. "So, did you finish the new chapter you were working on?"

Besides being a father and working his job, Geralt has taken to writing lately. It was nothing fancy or official, just an creative outlet when for his wandering mind. The story revolves around a stoic warrior called 'The Witcher', that makes his living by hunting dangerous creatures all across a medieval fantasy world, full of cruelty, injustice and racism. He's dragged into different adventures repeatedly, receiving help from a beautiful and cunning sorceress. After finding his destiny linked child of surprise, he needs to fend of the attacking forces of evil to keep her safe from their clutches.

Geralt refrains from giving them names, mostly because he's very uncreative when it comes to creating a character's appearance and therefore bases them on people he knows. Yennefer definitely wouldn't let him live this down, so he keeps that thing to himself. More or less. 

There's an online portal for hobby writers like him, where he publishes the story bit by bit. Feedback varies depending on the plot, a few loyal readers continue to leave words of encouragement, whenever he's able to update. The man feels silly for being so satisfied about that fact, but it's nice to see someone appreciate what he's doing. Normally words are his weakness - with writing them down, rather than talking, he feels more comfortable.

The white-haired man nods. Work has been slow today and most of the chores were finished yesterday, so he indulged in some typing. "Yeah, just need to edit it and correct some mistakes. I'll update later tonight."

Ciri grins, careful not to stab her face with the fork still in hands, while she pipes, "But I'm reading it first!"

Of course she will. Always does.

"And did you think about giving him a companion?" more noodles disappear into the blonde's mouth, "After all the Witcher is a rather lonely guy and it would be nice for a change to have somebody… well talk you know?"

Geralt pauses in his tracks, mulling it over in his mind. Ciri is right - another character ease some of the tension wouldn't be too bad. Someone well-versed with words, charming and a bit daring at times. Cornflower blue eyes flash before his mind. A musician maybe?

The agreeing hum inspires the girl to continue talking, leaving that topic be for now.

"And there is this new guy named Dara, he's really shy but nice and I…"

+++

Later in the evening, when school work is done and their plates cleaned away, they sit together on the couch, watching some comedy show about a chaotic police department the teen enjoys. Geralt doesn't mind it either though the humor is very childish at times, it's entertaining enough. The doorbell chimes again, revealing his neighbour has come to get her package. Yennefer doesn't seem to be in the best mood, her lips pursed and face set in a frown, when he hands over her property.

"I promise, I've been home all day. This stupid twink keeps bringing my packages here, only to have a reason to talk to you and ogle your body while doing so."

Geralt huffs, shrugging his shoulders in return.

"He's just doing his job, Yen. Maybe you two missed by a few minutes. I'm home anyway and I don't mind taking them."

There's a dangerous glint in the woman's eyes. She smirks. "Oh you definitely wouldn't mind taking _his_ package as well."

Sputtering in indignation, he quickly checks if Ciri heard anything of this but there's no movement in the living room. Turning back to his best friend, feeling flustered like a teenager with his first crush, he hisses, "Why don't you yell it all over the neighbourhood, while you're at it?!"

The dark-haired woman rolls her eyes. "Just get over it and ask him out for a coffee date or whatever boring people do. I bet my sex toy collection, that he would jump at the chance."

Geralt burrows his face into one hand with a groan, rubbing hard. Definitely not something he wants to talk or think about. Far too much information. At least Yennefer grants him mercy by leaving soon, time passing with his daughter and editing the chapter he wrote. Correcting always needs a fair share of time, so he sees Ciri to bed before returning to the task at hand. It's almost midnight when he finishes and he's satisfied how it turned out. 

Copying everything to the page and uploading with another click, it leaves him somewhat nervous, when he turns off the laptop to go to sleep. Appreciation from strangers shouldn't be important to him and yet it keeps him up for a bit, looking at the shadows dancing on the ceiling before he drifts into a peaceful sleep.

+++

The day starts with breakfast, some grumbling, a strong coffee for Geralt and fresh juice for Ciri. Her hair is unruly today, so he tried to braid it with more or less success. The teen likes it fine enough and they munch quietly on their respective toasts and cornflakes, before it's time for his daughter to leave house to catch the school bus with a lunch box in hand. Watching her go always reminds him of time passing by so damn quickly and never coming back.

Cirilla is already fourteen now, soon she'll be an adult and off to uni. His stomach churns at that and he distracts himself with more household duties, then gets his work laptop and sits on the veranda facing the garden. The weather is unusually mild today, so he wears just an undershirt and a pair of sweats, working determinedly on the files, pleasant rays of sun kissing the exposed skin. The man never catches much of a tan but it's nicer than being inside all day.

After two hours he allows himself a break, getting a cup of water and his phone. There are no news from Ciri, so he assumes everything is fine. Rolling his eyes over some stupid memes sent in the family group chat, he switches to the story platform instead. The inbox suggests he got four new messages and that lets his heart skip a tiny beat. Opening the comment section, he reads what was left there for him.

_'xXHanXx - Well written and entertaining ♡'_

_'scarlettsoldier - I loved it so so soooooo much.'_

_'ImperialDragon - An awesome story.'_

_'rercho - Oh I do love this fic! Thank you so very much for writing it.'_

These are four of his most loyal readers and he can't express his gratitude enough for their continued support. At least he tries, leaving them some words of thanks and wishes for a safe day. Then he returns to his work, flipping through another case file and diligently reads through dozens of papers about an ancient amphora going missing or something.

It's past midday when Geralt looks up again, concentrating broken by the doorbell ringing again. Grumbling under his breath about the unneeded distraction, he goes to open the door and is faced with another of Jaskier's charming smiles.

"Good day, Mr. Rivia. Got a package for you today. I see you are…" blue eyes roam over his partly exposed chest, teeth grazing over plush lips at the display, "enjoying the sun? A good idea, the last week was rather disappointing in that regard."

The taller man frowns in confusion. A package for him? He refrains from ordering online too much, with all the risks of data piracy out there. "Are you sure this is for me? I didn't order anything."

The brunette looks fond, re-reading the address once more. "Well if you are indeed 'Geralt of Rivia' then it's for you. Maybe a purchase made while indulging in a glass of wine or two? Or… other things?"

Geralt can't follow what the other hints to but takes the device to sign anyway. Jaskier waits patiently, observing the situations as he adds, "You know I ordered from that shop as well. I appreciate the quality of their goods and the… discretion they handle things with."

Exchanging the machine for the box, he's none the wiser and taking a closer look himself at the address label to identify the sender. It says 'Merigold Flowers Inc.' and realisation settles in. This isn't coming from a flower shop. Triss Merigold is the owner of a very successful online shop for sex toys of any variation, colour and size. She's also Yennefer's long-term girlfriend.

A furious blush takes over his cheeks. 

_Damnit Yen!_

Jaskier can barely contain the face-splitting grin that's threatening to take over his features. "Well then Mr. Rivia, gotta go now. I hope you have… a fun time, with your not-placed order."

The little mynx dares to wink at him before he hops down the stairs to the pavement and gets back inside his delivery car. Geralt closes the door a tad too loud, slamming it shut, to cover the irritated moan rising in his throat.

Growling at the offensive package, he tears open the cardboard packaging, revealing a pair of metal cuffs, a tube of lube and a big dildo. His face heats up even more, when he finds the note tucked inside.

_'Thought you could you a little training before fucking your postman. This should help. - Y.'_

For a second he ponders to just throw it out. Or over the fence into his friend's garden for her to find it in the afternoon. But then he hesitates, unsure what to do. It's paid for. And Geralt isn't one to let things put to waste, so…

He has never stalked to his bedroom more quickly, hastily storing away the items into his bedside table, like someone could walk in on him any given moment. Rid off the naughty articles, Geralt sits on the bed, taking a couple of deep breath to somehow fight the warmth taking a hold on his cheekbones, grumbling during the whole procedure.

_How could this be his life?_

**Author's Note:**

> Jaskier's uniform is based of Hermes postman and raunchy clichees. The box label is inspired by local shop for toys that offer 'harmless' name to put on top so your neighbours don't notice you're odering kinky stuff 😂
> 
> Thank you for reading! Feedback in the comments is very much appreciated 😘


End file.
